The Truth: The Interview with Lady Electric about The Underground and Prevalent Pick Up Artist, Personal Growth, Dating and Relationship Coaching Industry- You Decide!

The Good, Bad, Nice Guys:

<—(Ignore the title of the video: Kezia Noble: Official videos and articles) FYI: Did NOT interview Kezia.

The following Individual that I’ve interviewed hasn’t been publicized and wanted to be privatized and for the purpose of the interview, I’ve used her Nickname [or Stage Name].

The Purpose of The Interview: To reveal the actions and the truth about the Bad, the Ugly, and The Good in This World where Majority of The Bad Apples show up in Mainstream Media

good-and-evil

The Interview goes as follows:

Hi Lady Electric,

Saw your comments on a Global News article in regards to PUA and how not all are bad as society and media portrays the industry, professionals, affiliations to be merely bad apples. When in reality, there are good people involved for the right reasons.

In your posted comments, you had mentioned how you’re directly involved with the communities and how everybody can benefit from learning and experiencing the tools. I have a website, blog, and social media pages on attraction, social confidence, emotional awareness, and social intelligence from moral and ethical perspectives and practices.

Looking for diverse experiences from many people that came across PUA directly or indirectly to post on my blog, social media pages, and website with their full permission. Would you like to write me a testimonial of your experiences you may have had whether they were good, bad, or ugly? Please leave out names for privacy sake. I’ll use alternative names (made up) when posting such testimonials. Also, can I use your comment on Global News Article about how the term of pick up is ambiguous, we use it everyday, it’s used in sales, and so forth?

Great to see that there are those who are more than intelligent to see that not everybody is to be brushed in the same way as the rest.

Sincerely,

Luke

Hi Luke,

What’s a PUA? Just kidding. Thanks for writing. Could you send me a link to your website/blog please? I’ve recently retired from “the game” as I’ve just finish a 7 year contract with “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” Father I call Josh Reffries haha. Actually it’s incredibly likely I have the *best story in the entire community but I would never write about it on my own. Too ugly, gruesome, hideous. Perhaps after the old dragon dies or if I had a hypnotist army (I actually do, seriously!). And yet I’ve been involved since 2007, I’m a freaking saint in comparison, which is partly why I felt inclined to comment on the News article. I can write a lot about seduction, not about my personal experiences but about the techniques, learning process, community, etc. I hate to break it to the world but the community is full of sociopath/psychopaths with the intent to take advantage of others, either for money or sex. These techniques are extremely powerful and effective, so all the more reason for every kind-hearted person to learn, wouldn’t you agree? That being said you are right, not everyone is an sick, manipulative, selfish-centered meanie. There are a lot of really nice students and few good coaches like myself but the community needs to come together and decide what we will stand for in regards to moral and ethical treatment and what is flat out unacceptable. Until better organization happens everyone gets lumped in a ball, which keeps the bad guys in business and the good guys at a disadvantage. Are we superheros or super-villains? That is the question! lol

Warm Regards,

Lady Electric

Hi Lady Electric,

Just saw only, ‘What’s a PUA?’ for a second and you almost got me, ahaha. Thanks for getting back to me. Here’s my:
Blog https://themoralcompassofattractionandsocialadaptation.wordpress.com/
Website http://thesocialadaptation.wix.com/thesocialadaptation
https://www.facebook.com/TheMoralCompassofAttractionandSocialAdaptation
Also, have Google Plus Account and Page under The Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation Title and email is themoralcompassofattraction@gmail.com. Hope you enjoy it! Accepting feedback.
Wow, Ross Jeffries of Speed Seduction and The God Father. That’s amazing! [Attempting Optimism] I’m sure you have amazing stories. I hear JB in RSD is a really a good guy according to some people’s experiences with him while learning about Growth, Dating and Relationships [not condoning any of his actions in any size, shape, or form over his disrespectful posts on twitter]…just that his marketing strategy was obviously very immoral, unethical, irrational and socially taboo. Can’t confirm it though and definitely don’t endorse his media posts regarding to you know what. Yes, personal experiences don’t have to be included. I respect that. From professional, learning, systematic and experiencing curves are what I’m looking for at all angles (not tunnel vision- out of context or one sided isn’t my style since full disclosure and openness on the good and the bad [open book] is necessary- complete honesty and authenticity.
So, it seems my suspicious observations and instinct for the industry are true based on your words that there are many, whom are sociopaths and/or psychopaths with the intent to be manipulative. It’s ironic how you mention taking advantage for money or sex as I mention that in my WordPress Blog under Ethics and Morals: The Players in Personal Growth or Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence- The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Yes, I do, believe they’re very influential whether it’s for good or bad purposes regardless of who exercises these skills. Based on my experiences though, many of the people that I have came across in the industry whom themselves are curious, clients/students, or instructors are very good professionally and personally speaking. They had and have good intentions and it shows through their words and actions. Many of the males and females that I’ve seen interested in receiving assistance are the following types with utmost respect of course (no labeling intended): from the shy individuals, to the introverted, to the good people that are looking for more than just a good time by establishing and maintaining fulfilling relationships whether that be sexual, platonic, family-oriented, personal and/or professional incentives or contexts. I’ve read some statistics that suggest 70-90% were looking towards gaining social skills to getting a lover/partner to a wife to other meaningful relationships while the 20-40% were into it for superficial and manipulative gains.
Absolutely agree with your last five premises about the good and the bad and the outcome.

Appreciate your insight,

With utmost sincerity,
Luke

Luke, thanks for the speedy reply. You are too nice. Honestly. JB or Josh Reffries might be wonderful people and nice to their friends and families but the point is reputation is everything in this community and the community needs a better reputation. Marketing or real immoral techniques, abusing anyone are just wrong and it’s giving the good guys a bad name so we need to draw the line clearly if we don’t want to be labeled sociopaths ourselves. I assure you there are more good people in the world then bad but the bad people hold the majority of control/power and unfortunately this subject draws out every sociopath on the internet. I think your Ethics and Morals Blog is brilliant for that reason, we need more people writing about the importance of good vs bad in the community. You have my permission to post anything I’ve written or write to you on there using the name Lady Electric.
There’s a lot of material on seduction. It’s over complicating a simple subject in my opinion. Everything in life takes practice to get good at it. It will benefit people more to get really good at a few things, rather then try to learn everything. I suggest to people they learn 3 simple things when starting off. Practice until it’s totally natural, unconscious, so they don’t even have to think. Then go learn more if they want.
1. Peacock (stand out from the crowd).
2. Value Build (talk about friends and family and hobbies rather than cars and money).
3. Qualify (Be the one asking most of the questions, like a police officer).
That’s it. Simple PUA 101. All anyone really needs to know to get intensely good at the subject. The key is practice.
Other than that I recommend Instant Rapport by Michel Brooks and My Voice Will Go With You by Sidney Rosen as books that are actually NLP and hypnosis books but will take people a lot further with seduction.
Vin Dicarlo’s Pandoras Box System is fun.
Love Johnny Soporno’s Intro to Seductive Reasoning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R-hxqhJls8
For advanced students learn semantics and pragmatics – linguistic kung fu =}
Forget October Man and go for February Man! lol

Best Regards,

Lady Electric

Hey Lady Electric,

Didn’t think I was being too nice. Just don’t want to make a false allegation without legitimate and full honesty of real evidence. The media and society does have a reputation for taking things out of context, exaggerating, and basically blowing things out of proportion. Now, I’m not defending or supporting evil-doers in any size, shape, or form. Quite the contrary, would like to have the full pictures before coming to a reasonable and ethical conclusion. In the cases, the truly guilty are found and discovered or not, justice has to be served. Can’t have wrongfully accused cases occurring because that can ruin an individual’s or groups organizations’ name that would have otherwise been leading towards success and making the difference.
Fortunately, you’re right! There are more good in the world than the bad or the ugly. On the other hand, just like you mentioned there are the abusers that hold more influence into what we believe, think, see, and listen to. On the up said, the good rather than doing nothing, they (not saying we to not brag) do something about it and keep doing what they were doing by motivating and inspiring others through morals and ethics. If one stands for nothing, that individual will fall for anything or anybody.
Thank you, much appreciate it. Through my research and examinations, as I posted in the blog (recommendations), have come across great companies and individuals that truly do make a good impact into dating, relationships and other involved human connections.
Thanks for the 3 suggestions for beginners.

In terms of peacock theory to successfully be implemented and practiced, noticed that it works when non-verbal, verbal and fashion or style are congruently united. One can’t work effectively without the others.

As for value and rapport building, the concentration definitely is on personality, energy, character, experiences, perspectives, values/beliefs and so forth. Internal demonstration rather than external performance. Qualification is excellence when it has flow, smooth, and sincere motivations and execution in the process.
Practice does make improvement, especially when done right and intelligently. However, mistakes have value too in that they give experience, knowledge, and insightful wisdom.
Ah, haven’t heard of Michel Brooks and Sidney Rosen. Thanks for the information. Soporno’s materials are amazing!

^–Luke

Lady Electric: Awesome, ya Soporno is a hero. I don’t like to say bad things about people so I’m not going to name names on the many well known coaches I’ve worked with over the years in LA, Vegas, Vancouver, Halifax, Mexico, England who are completely unethical and downright abusive so you’ll have to trust me there are tons out there. The books are a both a pretty easy and entertaining read. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of the forbidden October Man sequence but it was stolen from February Man, pretty much all NLP and seduction come from hypnosis techniques by Milton H. Erickson. Erickson had a female client who had been abused. He did hypnotic therapy with her every February for years just to let her unconscious know after the winter comes spring. October Man is just the opposite – taking control of a female, from fall to winter. There are many evil techniques in seduction, many sections promoting female sex slavery, brainwashing, psychical, sexual and emotional abuse. I’ve seen first hand and personally been involved with this community for many years and I have zero tolerance for disrespect towards others, specially females. Objectifying is bad enough, anyone who’s using abuse techniques to promote their work deserves to be outcast from the community or even the country – flat out. We don’t tolerate racism, we shouldn’t tolerate misogyny, All people should be treated with respect. It’s that easy.

You also can’t control the entire world and there will always be bad guys so it’s best to educate everyone for self betterment, enhancing relationships and also protection.

Luke: He is! Yeah, I know what you mean and agree. Where there’s light, there’s darkness. Unfortunately, one can’t exist without the other. Remember both techniques being mentioned in The Game, N. Strauss’s book. Familiar with NLP and Hypnosis as they were both taught in lectures throughout a course I took on campus. The ethical dilemmas and authenticity issues are prevalently in existence. To name some- hypnosis can implement memories in that otherwise naturally somebody wouldn’t have or on the upside (including NLP) can have wondrous therapeutic success especially when stresses and habits are involved. In NLP, don’t find the eye gazing tells in relation to deception red flags being effective. Rather observe and deduce facial expressions, body language, and verbal communication once seeing things in clusters and establishing congruence or picking up on inconsistencies (verbal and nonverbal) and checking out the context in the way communication is being displayed. Anyways, great to know and see like-minded and moral beings that don’t tolerate abuse in any size, shape, or form are around to speak up and take action, especially in a world where things appear to be mostly surrounded by manipulative practitioners. Intolerating bad, ugly, evil (however one describes such) brings out the social justice activists in our humanity! Absolutely, respect and integrity. We’re all human beings wanting and needing to connect on such deeper levels that we must remember the golden rule (rule of thumb) which is Respectfulness.

Lady Electric: It’s a pleasure, Luke. Hope someday we cross paths, would be nice to meet you in person. You have a fantastic smile by the way!

Luke: It’s an honour to have spoken about this with you from all sides of the spectrum in terms of the dark and good sides (pros and cons). What if the industry, and its services were strictly and professionally regulated by investigators and other moral/ethical officials to the highest degree? Also, what advice do you have for those that know of this social universe and are reluctant to seek the services and goods provided by the professionals they approach? The hesitant decision may be due to what he or she heard in terms of the ethical dilemmas. Otherwise, they would have quickly sought out help to improve and evolve themselves, their lifestyles and relationships. He or she as the customer being the shy, awkward, introverted, or oblivious and good person type or those looking to gain social and communications to more fulfilling relationships whether that be romantic to deeply loving kinds at any stage. Including those that want to be the best version of themselves and are struggling on how to go about accomplishing and maintaining their authenticity because they’re stuck in the deadly comfort zone or they don’t seem to be moving forward in any way. By the way, thanks for the compliment.

Lady Electric: I know it is already somewhat regulated and should be even more so, but as far as moral to the highest degree this becomes a bit tricky or complicated. It’s all about intent. It might be okay to perhaps be somewhat unethical in certain circumstances if it’s for the greater good. For example, if one wants to quit smoking, causing them to feel sick when they inhale cigarette smoke might be considered unethical but it could be an effective measure if they have tried every other method and failed. I don’t think you can generalize and say “as long as you leave the person better off than when you found them”. I think it greatly depends on the situation and the people involved.
As for advice on people reluctant to learn (like my mother haha), I say perhaps it’s not for everyone but understanding is protection. Since it can and is often used as psychological weaponry, used by the media, sales, lawyers, politicians, military etc., becoming more and more common these days, learning is our only defense.
Also enhancing communication skills are only going to better ones life in all areas. It should be taught in high-school, as a life skills-communications course. Useful skills students can apply to everyday life no matter what direction they decide to go in afterwards.
As far as ethical dilemmas, I really like this question. It’s important because I think almost everyone starting out has to cross this barrier because most of us have been taught since we were children that manipulation is wrong/bad. However, if you are gifting people positive suggestions or causing them to enhance their lives you are doing them a great benefit. It’s all about *intent. You decide how you will use it, which is essential to understand because I want my students to feel good about what they are doing. Feeling good will give them extra motivation to learn, practice and get out there, putting their skills in motion in real life circumstances.
For shy, introverted people or for people with social anxiety, there are many ways to overcome this and be more opened/outgoing but by far the best way is simply putting yourself out there. Talking to a few new people everyday, even if it’s just hi with a smile or small chat about the weather, and realizing it’s just a numbers game because no matter how wonderful someone is they will not get along with everyone. The more one does this though, the easier it gets. Usually everyone feels a bit awkward at first but it doesn’t take long for people to become confident talking to strangers or even publicly and it’s a skill worthwhile developing because humans are naturally social creatures – the more interpersonal relationships we have the more enhanced our lives tend to be, so this type of social confidence can really change ones life.
As for people wanting to be their best versions of themselves start of by defining or creating a map of exactly where you are at and where you want to be. Don’t worry about how you will get there at first, just focus on where you want to go. That’s the biggest step. Often that’s enough because our subconscious will figure out the route for us on it’s own if it knows the target. However you can further this by setting small achievable goals that will get you there. I’m also a big fan of “fake it till you make it” attitude. Just pretend or take a ten minutes daily visualizing how you want things to be for yourself. You’ll be amazed how well this works, how little effort it takes and how fun it is too! =}

Luke: Wow, multiple sound advice right there! Absolutely agree that it’s all about intent and of one’s state of mind and actions for prosperity. Some those that become committed and passionate practitioners do become very confident and competent in their life. I believe it transcends beyond pick up, attraction, seduction, social interactions and certain principles can be applied throughout any interactions that involves human beings connecting and communicating with each other. The learned and developed communication skills can definitely be applied appropriately and universally in any context.
You said early that you worked directly with the community, some of the professionals (instructors) and in numerous of countries. What were your positions? If you call yourself a PUA, is that what your position was? Or, do you refer to some other terminology? I.e. Dating/Relationship/Life Coach, Body Language/Communications Expert, or other.

Lady Electric: 7 year contract with old Josh Reffries, plus been training since age 12. I can’t really talk about our contract yet but I had the position of female superhero or secret agent spy, doing vigilante work. Not all glitz and glamour though, taking down dangerous criminals the police wouldn’t be able to catch. Vince Kelvin, Bad Boy, Nathan Shapiro, Jersey Boy PUA, Anthony Jacquin, Vince Lynch and Headhacking, Harry Nichols, Justin Tranz, Anthony Cools, Marc Savard, Jake Shannon, Bob The Hypno Hammer, Richard Anthony, Igor A. Ledochowski, hundreds of others, too many to list, Like Helen of Troy, 1000’s ships at my command. Haha, like my own hypno army! It’s not my intent to come off as bragging but it’s true. I have yet to meet anyone with a life more exciting than mine. Not an easy job though, I’m happy to retire. You can see why I feel so strongly about morals when it comes to persuasion.

I usually don’t tell people I’m a super hero. I go by dating coach, teach communications, sales. I downplay as much as possible cause it tends to make people uncomfortable until I start getting into the techniques, then they are usually hooked, but there are some who just don’t want anything to do with it and will resist as much as possible. I’m usually impressed with people resist me, makes me smile.

Just want to be clear Reffries isn’t a good guy, he had me tortured for years “getting the bad guys”, luckily hypnotist community are on my side, not all PUAs are evil as hell but in my experience most are. Kezia Noble and most respectable coaches like Johnny Soporno distance themselves from PUA’s. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5shi5cBamMc

Luke: That’s a lot of people. Yes, I noticed a lot of people are either very interested or very resistant of learning about it prior to the techniques or when they are discussed. Kezia Noble does seem to be legitimate and she sees herself as a coach not a PUA. Interesting interview with Johnny.

Thank You for the Interview, Lady Electric!

Here’s Lady Electric’s Comments on an article posted on a news website regarding The Ethical dilemma’s of Pick Up Artistry

1. As a female who’s been directly involved in the Pick Up Artist community for many years and has also experienced this type of abuse first hand from some members, I don’t want to see Canadians support Violence Against Women, domestic abuse or any other type hate groups. Unfortunately this type of thing is all too common in the PUA community, which is now very large, yes it’s a global mini-subculture of people using advanced psychology techniques. The PUA community doesn’t have to be a mean, degrading, hate filled group. I would like to see both men and women benefit from learning how to communicate effectively, exploring the psychology of sexual views in society, how we get along, etc. The misogynists/abusers are giving the community a bad name and it should fight to protect its reputation, appealing to the public to attract new members so everyone has the benefit of learning how to better themselves and relationships with one another in a healthy, positive way. It’s important Canadians show zero tolerance for violence towards any person. We are a safe country, proud to put humanity first, that’s one of the many traits that makes Canada so wonderful.

2. The term “pick up” is ambiguous and really what does the name have to do with the price of tea in china? Pick Up is simply a technology that can be used for either good or bad depending on ones intent. As for manipulating people (or ourselves to get a response) we do it all the time, consciously or unconsciously. But I bet if anyone had to speak publicly they would do what they could knowingly to make sure the speech went well. Eye contact with the audience, a warm smile, good posture, maybe a joke here or there. We dress up nice to go to work, learn manners so people think of us as polite. What’s the difference? This subject teaches people (often ones who genuinely struggle) a more effective way to interact or communicate. Personally I think everyone should learn the skills, for protection (yes these techniques are used in sales and marketing all the time – *buy now you should be getting my point haha), with all the swindling and seducing learning for protection seems intelligent but more importantly we can all better ourselves by learning how to communicate more effectively. Believe it or not, being a good listener, paying close attention on how to read people, not just communicating what you want to get across but understanding how it’s being interpreted, are all skills most people just don’t naturally possess, we need to learn them. We can’t just throw out the baby with the bath water, there’s insightful information in the Pick Up community that helps a lot of people for the better, stronger communications skills can lead to more fulfilling relationships. That’s why it’s such a shame abusers are ruining it for the public.

My Published Articles on The Good Men Project, Online Magazine

GMPMy Biography and Published Works!  http://goodmenproject.com/author/luke-park/

Be sure to check out and share my first published article called The Journey of My Cultural Identity with The Good Men Project! http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-journey-of-my-cultural-identity-wcz/

Here’s my second article about the personal growth, relationships, and life coaching universe regarding those involved; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! Learn, Develop, and Strengthen Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence as a skill to enhance one’s leadership abilities throughout diverse parts of his or her’s life wherever people are involved. Utilize your best self and have fulfilling relationships with your families, relatives, friends, colleagues, associates, co-workers, loved ones and others. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/emotional-awareness-social-intelligence-wcz/

Malicious intent and bullying turned Luke Park into a champion of social justice and relationship coaching. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/confessionsoftheunderdogandthrivingsurvivor-wcz/

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” –Ernest Hemingway

Stay tuned for future published articles on The Good Men Project http://goodmenproject.com and here on my Word Press! 🙂

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…We must do that which we think we cannot.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

Recommended Sources to Read and Observe for Personal Growth, Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence

good guys

The following lists are sources I’ve read or observed and are in standard high value to improve one’s Skills, Perspectives, and Long-term Experiences in Personal Growth, Emotional Awareness (Facial Expressions- Micro, Macro, Mask, False), Social and Communication Skills, and have a continuously evolved understanding of what makes us, humans, us, why and how so. More importantly, to lead and succeed in diverse areas of life and relationships, one must have a confident, firm, authentic belief system and apply the knowledge and wisdom that’s provided by professionals through their services.

The List of Recommended Sources:

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t by Michael J. Losier (Author of Law of Connection)

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell (his other books such as The Tipping Point and Blink are great reads well)

The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease

The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion (Ars Amorata- The Art of Love)

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists by Neil Strauss which is a memoir (Check out Rules of The Game as it’s a practical exercise manual too)

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Leadership: Theory, Application, & Skill Development by Robert N. Lussier and Christopher F. Achua

Persuasion: Social Influence and Compliance Gaining by Robert H. Gass and John S. Seiter

Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman

Models: Attract Women through Honesty- Mark Manson

All of Dr. Paul Ekman’s Books and Recommendations http://www.paulekman.com/books/ He’s the leading and most creditable psychologist on deception, emotions, nonverbal communication and more.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Liespotting by Pamela Meyer http://liespotting.com/

The Compass of Zen by Zen Master, Seung Sahn and Foreword by Stephen Mitchell

Split-Second Persuasion by Keven Dutton

Webs of Influence: The Psychology of Online Persuasion by Nathalie Nahai, The Web Psychologist http://websofinfluence.com/

Hot Sex Tips, Tricks, and Licks by Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Speaker, Author, TV Personality and Sexologist http://www.sexwithdrjess.com/

First Date Formula by Ben J and JT Tran, I Did It My Way by Jt Tran, Online Dating for Asian Men by JT Tran and Alice Zindagi http://www,abcsofattraction.com and http://www.jttran.com (Applicable to all races and cultures)

50 Powerful Date Ideas by Jordan Gray (Author of 7 Relationship Mistakes) http://jordangrayconsulting.com/blog/

Social Man Project by Myke Macapinlac http://socialmanproject.com

Online Magazine of Good Men Project by Every Day People and Professionals, Writers and Editors http://goodmenproject.com/

Men’s Health Magazine http://www.menshealth.com/

Ask Men http://ca.askmen.com/

Style Life by Neil Strauss (Style) http://web.stylelife.com/

Venusian Arts by Erik James Horvat-Markovic (Erik von Markovic or Mystery) http://www.venusianarts.com/ Watch his show, VH1 The Pick Up Artist Season 1 and 2. Get Hola Unblocker App. (internet use outside country of origin) if required.

Ethical Pickup by Crew Spence http://ethicalpickup.com/

Doctor Nerd Love http://www.doctornerdlove.com/

Attraction Explained by Adam Lyons http://www.attractionexplained.com

Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo http://www.doubleyourdating.com

Anthony Robbins http://www.tonyrobbins.com

Art of Manliness http://www.artofmanliness.com

The Art of Charm by Jordan Harbinger and AJ Harbinger http://theartofcharm.com

Social Engineering by Chris Hadnagy http://www.social-engineer.org and http://www.social-engineer.com Check out books: Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking and Unmasking the Social Engineer: The Human Element of Security

Seduction Sirens by Arden Leigh http://seductionsirens.com

Dating Advice (Seek Advice, Not an online dating service) http://www.datingadvice.com

Dating Skills Review: Men’s Source for Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice http://www.datingskillsreview.com/

Science of Relationships http://www.scienceofrelationships.com

Kissing Outside The Lines by Diane Farr http://www.kissingoutsidethelines.com/

Female Dating Expert for Men, Kezia Noble http://www.kezia-noble.com

Wing Girl Method by Marni Kinrys http://www.winggirlmethod.com/

Ted Talks http://www.ted.com

Authentic Man Program http://authenticmanprogram.com/blog/

Charismatic Arts http://www.charismaarts.com

Comments of Neil Strauss Interview http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/03/25/i-totally-interviewed-the-worlds-most-famous-pickup-artist/

Interview with Neil Strauss, Journalist and PUA http://www.timeout.com/chicago/sex-dating/pickup-artist-neil-strauss-interview

Pickup Advice for Shy Guys http://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/more-pickup-advice-for-shy-guys/

Ethical Pickup http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/ethical-pickup-artistry/

Swoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them by Betsy Prioleau [or Elizabeth Stevens Prioleau]

Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It by Marty Klein

Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover The Power of Intimacy by Ken Page

If you have any other suggestions to add, leave a message underneath this post in the comments below and I’ll check them out.

Society focuses too much on the differences of men and women aka the battle between the sexes. As an individual whose done more than a fair amount of research into attraction, seduction, relationships, dating, courtship, pick up, emotional awareness, social engineering, psychology, social dynamics, social justice and social intelligence, I can tell you with absolute assurance that men and women are more alike even when we don’t realize it. Yes, sure, genders are different physically and the way they perceive things and so forth. However, what we fundamentally need and desire are the same underneath all the surfaces and verbal communication. Universally, people of high value and quality, desire deeper connections, personality, energy, character, similarities, differences, cultural diversity, acceptance, love, passion, morals/ethics, principles, determination, experiences, challenges, leading lifestyles, mental/emotional/sexual/spiritual/religious/social compatibilities. Not all of them may apply. Case by case may be different although all those are the foundations to human connections and intimacy.

Treat Others the way you treat yourself, families, relatives, friends, co-workers, colleagues, associates, and so forth. We’re all human that want to connect deeply.

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The Eightfold Path of Attraction and Social Confidence

The Eightfold Path are 8 Principles of  Buddhism to Enlightenment and Awareness

Mind over Matter. If anything, The Mind comes first and then techniques come last.

These Principles can be applied to leadership, attraction, seduction, social interactions (romantic, sexual, platonic, professional intentions), confidence, inner peace, and building one’s own personal, professional and social growth in the mind and of an individual’s lifestyle.

1. Right View: Having the right understand and moral/ethical perspectives of oneself and others both internally and externally. Right View means holding no view and having no idea (being open-minded). Put down all your thinking, opinions, and see this world exactly as it is. Realize that we’re all human and wanting to connect with ourselves and others deeply. Also, think about why you do want or need something? Reflect on your authentic, genuine, honest, sincere motivations and aspirations.

2. Right Thought: We all have our opinions, thoughts, biases, perspectives, experiences, emotions and are often very attached to them. We have strong dislikes and likes. We are also attached to our condition and situation. “I’m a woman.”, “I’m a man.”, etc. When we hold onto these conditions, we can’t completely connect with this world and all the human beings. We only see this small “I, my, me” world we have made, and we can’t help others. (Refer to Ego Suspension as a one of the Build Rapport Principles to get more detail on it). Right Thought means not becoming attached to any views, not holding our opinion, condition, and situation, and only keeping a before-thinking mind that spontaneously wants to help all beings. Think less, Use Unattached Emotions. Your before-thinking mind is your substance; my before-thinking mind is my substance. Then your substance, my substance, and this whole universe’s substance are the same substance. However, that point is before thinking. If you attain that before-thinking mind, your mind is clear like space. Then you perceive that you are the same as all beings, and true thinking can appear by itself. You no longer harbor thoughts of selfish desire, ill will or malice. The name for this is wisdom.

3. Right Speech: Many people are attached to their tongue. This tongue is very fascinating. We have two eyes, two ears, and two nostrils. Why do we only have one mouth and one tongue? This mouth has a very big job! It’s always eating and talking, nonstop. It always desires some good feeling- from food, drink or from the pleasure of making lots and lots of speech. Most of our strongest attachments come from the desires of this tongue. Not so many attachments come from our ears, nostrils or eyes. Perhaps, if we have another mouth and tongue, our life would be much easier, because then this one month and tongue wouldn’t feel they always have to do so many things all the time. However, this tongue already causes many, many problems for this world, so we’re lucky not to have another one. In fact, one could say that, of our five primary senses (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and sense of touch), when we’re not careful this tongue causes the most suffering for ourselves and for this world. Control this tongue and all its desires. In Zen, “The tongue has no bone.” This is because what one says and does (actions) aren’t congruent.

4. Right Action: Talk is Cheap. Action is Quality and of Value. Use the tongue to help others with clear, compassionate, leadership quality, confident, charismatic speech. Action comes from our mind and returns to our mind. Whatever one does in the world is a reflection of our thinking. This is sometimes called the path of precepts. He taught that we shouldn’t take any life to produce heedlessness. Whenever we do something, if we are thinking, that action becomes Karma. We create a kind of mental habit for that action. If we don’t do good things, we naturally make bad Karma. However, if we only try to do good things for other people, then we make Bodhisattva Karma. This is action that only tries to serve other people. Right Action means always being aware of how our actions affect other beings, because that also affects our mind. This is why Right Action is sometimes, interpreted as Right Karma.

5. Right Livelihood (Lifestyle and Objectives: Everybody has two jobs, goals, objectives in life. Our inside work is keeping clear mind. Our outside work is cutting off selfish desires and helping others. Saying this is one thing, yet how do we actually do it? We have jobs. Some person’s job is to go and work in an office to make money; another person’s job is to live in a temple and teach other people. However, how does this outside job help other beings? Is this work done only for me, only for my family, or for all beings? It’s certainly true that in this world, everyone has to make money. However, many people’s work entails killing many animals, or polluting the air and water. This is not so good. Selling alcohol, drugs, explosives, or guns to other people only makes more and more bad Karma. It can’t help this world at all. Even if one is doing this to make money to help their family, in the end one will only add suffering to this world, just in order to get money. Be careful: in this world, cause and effect are always very, very! So, Buddha taught that we must have jobs that don’t hurt this world. As I said before, the most important thing is, Why Do this or that? If you ask this question, then your Right Livelihood becomes very clear.

6. Right Effort (Energy): Always trying hard in your meditation and spiritual practices. Sick or healthy, busy or free, tired or rested, it doesn’t matter. Only try, try, try, nonstop! Only do it. That’s all!

7. Right Mindfulness (Presence): How do you keep your mind, right now? Just as a ray continues out from one point to another to make a straight line, how you keep your mind in this very moment makes your whole life. Many people only follow their thinking, their desire, anger, and ignorance. So, they get suffering in situations after situations. However, if one wakes up right now, one gets happiness. Which one do you like? Happiness is a choice. It’s a decision that one makes internally to better their presence, their present and future. The name for this “wake up” is sometimes called paying attention. The Buddha called it the Right Mindfulness.

8. Right Meditation (Clarity): Correct Meditation is the most important thing that one can do to wake up, be enlightened and aware. Right Meditation means from moment to moment keeping a not-moving mind. In any situation and any condition, keep a mind that’s clear like space, yet that functions as meticulously as the tip of a needle. Some people think the point of meditation is just to experience some kind of “peace mind”. They only like stillness and quiet. Finding quiet in the quiet isn’t true quiet. Quiet in the noisy is true quiet. Yes, having a quiet place to meditate is desirable. However, we shouldn’t become attached to a quiet experience alone, because life isn’t always like this. If your mind isn’t moving, then even the loudest and busiest areas are beautifully Zen. There are also people who think that correct meditation just has to do with doing very had sitting meditation practice. However, doing this alone isn’t complete meditation practice. This kind of thinking is attachment to body-sitting. True Meditation means correct mind-sitting: regardless of condition or situation, how do you keep your mind, right now? That makes your life. If your mind is clear, the whole universe is clear. If your mind isn’t clear, the whole universe isn’t clear. That’s a very important premise. So doing strong meditation is important. Having a good sitting practice is very, very important. On the other hand, the most important point of all this is cutting off all attachment to thinking and returning to your before-thinking mind. “What am I? Only don’t know…” Can you do that in every condition and situation, off the cushion as well as on it? If you can do this while driving, that’s driving meditation. If you do it while eating, that’s eating meditation. If you can do it while cleaning your house, that’s working meditation. **Apply meditation to the relationship with yourself and others.**

True Meditation and Spiritual Practices means keeping a great question: only, “What or Whom Am I?”

It’s good to control your breathing. Breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly. Your exhalation should be a little more than twice as long as the inhalation. If you breathe in and out very slowly, one can more easily cut off all thinking and not be attached to the coming and going of your mind. Over time, your energy comes down, down, down into your central core, and you can better control your feelings and emotions. Through all of this, however, it’s important to emphasize that true meditation isn’t bodily posture. It’s how one keeps their mind, from moment to moment, in the midst of any daily activity.

Source: The Compass of Zen- Zen Master Seung Sahn, Foreword by Stephen Mitchell

Applications: Applied Eightfold Path Models to the Human Mind, Completing Objectives, achieving leadership success, being socially confidence, developing personal growth through charisma.

Ethics and Morals: The Players in Personal Growth or Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence- The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Since the main premise of my WordPress, Website and Social Media Page (FB) are about the personal growth and self help movement and internal empowerment as one of the objectives to evolve, this post will talk about its problems (dark side) and alternative measures (change).

  Objective:

To discuss the Personal Growth or Dating/Relationship/Social Confidence [whatever one calls it] Coach Department (the good, the bad, and the ugly from different approaches of the systematic approach) due its recent epidemic of moral dilemmas over the almost last decade after the book was published, revealing this universe from underground to mainstream media and the world.

So, what, how, and why this part of Life Coaching became to be was initially to help others who lack emotional awareness, social intelligence (education), fulfillment in dating and relationships (romantic, sexual, platonic, professional, and other types) or already have those yet want more than that by providing them with evolved social skills, progressive principles/philosophies, fresh perspectives (motivation/inspiration) in diverse contexts with different people. Depending on who and what organization provides the services and goods through their modus operandi (method of operation) and their motives (reasoning), the genuine teachings still live on. Otherwise, there’s those that changed somewhere throughout the journey for the worse, not better or had ulterior motives (agenda[s]) to begin with through manipulation and superficiality for merely promiscuity, sex, misguided fetishes, greed, and money. Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.

Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.

Some selectively choose their advice whether the instructor is ultimately, the good, the bad, or the ugly as one can learn from everybody.

Bad, Ugly, Good

For Better or For Worse- Mentalities, Character, Beliefs

The Bad and The Ugly

Let’s begin with the bad and the ugly (dark side) in correlation with the types of mentalities that exist in those that initially had genuine reasons or began with those and continued towards that dark path. There’s those that believe to their very core that they have a sense of entitlement to fulfill their needs, desires, agenda despite the frame causing and affecting more harm than good. The Entitled believe a potential mate or people they interact with that one is attracted to is a consolation prize which then treats others on a pedestal and as an object through their verbal and nonverbal communication signals. Then there’s The Socially Deviant who take high risk, low reward by having the entitlement mentality through attempting creepy, deviant, and/or sometimes, potentially criminal behaviour. On the other hand, there’s those whom merely sit around a screen and have all the theories, tactics, strategies yet they don’t apply themselves and troll online/offline. Another example are those that have read or obtained knowledge on the science of attraction, such as: evolutionary biology, sexuality, social sciences, humanities, health sciences, etc. mix those fields with unsound/unproved theories and applications to the students that take their seminars. Ultimately, they mix in the lie with the truth or the truth with the misleading guidelines. What’s common too, is those that desire money and rather than teaching, they commit fraud and other deceptive behaviours behind the scenes.

Lesson: Don’t treat yourself and others as a Prize to Win. Embrace and Love Everybody including oneself.

The Golden Rule (Rule of Thumb): Treat Others with Respect, Honesty, Integrity, and Share High Social Value with Authenticity.

We’re all human beings that have the desire to connect with ourselves and others deeply whether that be physically (i.e. supporting health/wellness), emotionally (ex: sharing personal stories), mentally (connecting intellectually), and spiritually (empowering journey).

The Systematic Approaches and Good Individuals: Mindset, Character, Beliefs

As for the good, the systems and the communities can be good, bad, ugly or neutral unless they are in itself created and used for evil. Systems, Approaches, People in of itself and themselves that have created programs through ethics and morals do exist and prosper. Examples: Those that are Shy Boys/Girls, Good Guys/Girls, or Intellectuals/Educated Professionals that want and need to learn Social Confidence and Skills in Human Interactions. Also, includes those that have Social Anxiety and desire to try personal growth programs.

Results may vary.

Ultimately, The Good Guys and Girls Finish First! 😉

Academic Review

“As to the methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Check out the study conducted on this industry and its ethics by the University of Oxford, Department of Experimental Psychology. The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP10899909.pdf

“[Pick-up] is not inherently good or bad. It’s like a hammer. A hammer can be used to drive a nail into a piece of wood and build a beautiful house one day or it can be used to bust someone’s kneecap. It’s all about the ethics of how you use it.” -Arden Leigh

Using Deductive Reasoning for Concrete Knowledge and Sound Wisdom

In conclusion, the guidelines provided by such professionals to another can be used for good or bad depending on one’s incentives and actions. Thus, not everybody is the same. The actions of some ‘bad apples’ don’t reflect those that are really trying to make a difference in their own lives and others. To judge the good based on the events of the bad and ugly is intellectually and morally unsound.

Mind over Matter: What one perceives, one can achieve passionately!

With Great Influence comes Great Responsibility. 😉

Lessons to Achieve and Learn

Learn Emotional Awareness (Facial Expressions; Micro, Macro, False, Masked), Social Skills through Influence, Persuasion, Personality, Character, Charisma, The Arts and Sciences of Attraction, Social Dynamics, Seduction, Social Structures: Proxemics (Space and Body Positioning), Haptics (Touch), Kinesics (Physical Gestures and Body Movement), Vocalics ((Paralanguage), Chronemics (Structure and Use of Time in Nonverbal Communication) and so forth. In addition: Read, Learn, Practice, Evolve Intelligently with Effectiveness and Quality.

Remember,
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Confidence, and Social Dynamics: The Social Adaptation Project- Transform Your Authentic Self

Love

“Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”-Confucius
So with that quote in mind, do everything that you do with love and passion. Approach every single time of day with meaning and purpose. Think and Accomplish Objectively. Go back to your motivational reasoning of why you do what you and how you do things.
The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Confidence, and Social Dynamics: The Social Adaptation Project- Transform Your Authentic Self
Are you an individual that’s 18+? If you feel as something is missing in any part of your life, want to gain social skills, meet new people, get a girlfriend and main that special relationship, want to get married someday, enhance your family relations, improve your friendships and other relationships such as with your co-workers, associates, colleagues, become a transformative leader, build/maintain transforming and fulfilling relationships then The Social Adaptation Project is right for YOU! 🙂
Here at Social Adaptation Project,
Ethics and Morals are Priority One!
The Values within this Company includes: Respect Everybody, Have On-Going Integrity, Thrive, Lead and Strive for Social Excellence.
The Instructors take one on one consultation and training or group consultations and training which consists of two or more clients. Consultations include: background checks, interviews, personality assessments/lifestyle/learning and motivational styles for improved experience with the courses (seminars).
Consultations available: through Email, Social Media (FB), or Web Chat (Ask). Contact (via FB or Website) for further details on Consultations and Transformative Courses/Seminars/Costs.

themoralcompassofattraction@gmail.com Email Contact (Questions, Consultations and Training Programs)

http://thesocialadaptation.wix.com/thesocialadaptation Website
http://www.facebook.com/TheMoralCompassofAttractionandSocialAdaptation Social Media
Potential Clients/Audience: Adults that have the highest moral and ethical values in their priority lists both personally and professionally.
Accepted Clients: With flying colours, individuals do more than pass their background checks and interview processes (over the phone and in-person).
Social Adaptation is a personal growth movement towards empowerment.
A Leadership Program and Resource of Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence.
A set of internalized firm beliefs combined with committed willpower to take action for long term success in any areas or contexts where social interactions occur.
It’s about building rapport (connections) with yourself and others while having a transformative lifestyle towards progression in perspectives and experiences throughout deeper relationships and different stages of social dynamics and its relations.
As said, The Social Adaptation Project takes Ethics very seriously, so Moral Responsibility (Duty) includes how to deal with problems in one’s relationships.
When The Social Adaptation Project founder and owner, Luke, began this Company, he concentrated his insights of emotional awareness and social intelligence into a simple and unique formula called
The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Confidence, and Social Dynamics
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…We must do that which we think we cannot.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
The Principles found behind this formula is to have equilibrium in deeper and fulfilling relationships at any stage. It’s practically effective for everybody.
“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” -Confucius
Programs (In Class and In-Field) will discuss things such as: Limiting Beliefs

(Internal/External) and Societal Conditioning vs. Individual Affirmations, Transformative Actions (Personal Beliefs)
What attraction is?, How it works?, Why it works (nature vs. nurture)? I.e. Fashion style, Grooming, Hygiene, etc.
What is Emotional Awareness (Micro, Macro, Masked, False Expressions]?, Why it’s important?, The 3Cs, What are the non-verbal cues in the face to genuine expressive behaviour? I.e. Sincere Happy Face- some of the nonverbal cues: crows feet wrinkles, raised cheeks.
What are the nonverbal communication signals that demonstrate comfort, discomfort, stress, distress, hyperstress, eustress, full and genuine consent or disapproval? i.e. physiological responses, facial expressions, body language (nonverbal positioning), proxemic, kinesics, voice tone, establishing beyond receptive and comfortable touch (personal contact), mutual engagement and sharing escalation.
What are the signs, red flags, hot spots of nonverbal communication showing deception? Most common sign in a general sense: Liars look at their listener straight in the face to see if the other is buying their lie(s). Even when one unconsciously shows nonverbal cues to their deceptive demeanor, their motive is still their own secret.
The stages and practical principles of social intelligence: building rapport. E.g. Ego Suspension- remove your Ego and nurture your Identity during interactions with others.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”
— Bruce Lee
Helping Genuine Men and Women, Boys and Girls approach attraction, dating, courtship, flirting, relationships, social dynamics through honesty, authenticity, moral compass, multi-disciplines and perhaps, how to maintain the relations that one desires. Integrity, Social Value, Respect @ The Social Adaptation Project- Discipline, Empowerment, Leadership!
“Everyone has a desire, but the desire to transform oneself, to transform one’s affliction, suffering, in order to get free and help other people, and change the world, that is a good desire.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Goals and Objectives: Providing Resources on Relationship Materials and Discussing dating, relationships (different stages), pick up/Game, attraction (meeting to building attraction, rapport and earning success), social justice issues (standards, equality, fairness) to social dynamics to psychology (behavioural analysis: emotions, body language, gestures, voluntary vs. involuntary expressions), problems in relations, gender dynamics, the principles/philosophies/pillars of social interactions (Leadership, Moral and Ethical Approaches), guidelines to success through emotional and deep spiritual awareness, philosophical, leadership models and searching for Collaborative Efforts with Clients and other Passionate Individuals.
😉 Be Your Authentic Self and Put The Best Side of Your Personality and Character Forward through Genuine and Passionate Charisma! ❤
Why The Founder does this to make the difference? “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (Corinthians, 13:4-8)
CARPE DIEM! SEIZE THE DAY!

LOVE CONQUERS ALL! Omnia Vincit Amor!
Has the passion and continuous love for diverse branches of psychology, sciences, philosophy, social justice, social dynamics, multi-disciplines, leadership, emotional awareness, social intelligence, spirituality, internal strength, charisma, love, communication, and helping people.
“Being your true authentic self is your most attractive self. Us being us is our real attractive self. In fact, us being real, us being authentic is the only truly seductive thing there is. Honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.” -Zan Perrion
Leave others better, motivated, inspired, and smiling with sincerity, when you met them.
“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” –Hitch

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” -Lao-Tzu