The Myth: Why Boys and Men Don’t Cry

Boys and Men ubiquitously are hurting and crying for help. Parents, Mentors, Role Models, Friends, Families, Colleagues, Co-workers, Significant others, and others, be there for the boys and men in your life. Be sincere, genuine, caring, honest.

“Takes a village to raise a kid.”
Society says, “Men don’t cry”, “Men aren’t expressive.”, “If boys and men are expressive, they’re cowards, pu**ies”, “Boys will be boys.” STOP conditioning us to be non-express, non-communicative. Nurture us from the ground up when we’re younger. When we’re adults, be kind, support and love us wholesomely.
How traumatic, unhealthy, and immature are those words? Rhetorical.
“It’s easier to raise children than fix broken men.”

Regardless of our backgrounds whether it is gender, race, ethnicity, age, religion, political stances, sexual orientation, education, we’re all HUMAN.

F**k the male patriarchal society. As people, we all have pain, suffering, vulnerabilities, failures, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, plans, goals, objectives, feelings, emotions, beliefs, needs and desires.

Whether boys and men cry, smile, express themselves in any other way, they are still boys and men. They are still human beings that need and want support. Hell, we’re ALL expressive, emotional creatures. Where’s the love? Show the love. Be good, be ethical, be moral, be kind, be gentle, be sensitive, be assertive, be confidence, love oneself in and out entirely and share that love with others.

When I’m in uncomfortable state of vulnerabilities, I utilize meditation, emotional freedom technique (tapping), exposure therapy, talking cure, music therapy, practice martial arts and sports. Do what gives you emotional release.

If you have anxiety, depression or other unhealthy things going on, please seek professional assistance by contacting your physician to see a specialist or call your local hot-line for help!

Here’s a song that may help boys and men see the light during and at the end of the dark tunnel.
Lean On Me, Bill Withers

The Revealing Truth: Signals of Deceptive Behaviour

“The World’s A Stage. We’re all merely players.” -William Shakespeare

I have a lot of problems with articles about Deception Leakage (aka Cues or Tell Tale Signs) that show people are lying through their verbal and non-verbal communication.


“No mortal can keep a secret. If the lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” -Sigmund Freud

Firstly, many signs are similar or identical to those with **anxiety**.

Secondly, many articles fail to mention a baseline is the first step to detecting lies by deducing the distinctions of an individual’s normal and abnormal behaviour.

Thirdly, to read behaviour properly, one has to consider the 3 C Rule: Context, Congruency, Clusters (The Definitive Book of Body Language).

Fourthly, everybody has their own cues (involuntary Expressions) that reveal one is being deceptive.

Fifthly, the American Psychology Association does not support the findings of deception to be fully credible.

Statement Analysis (Interpretation of how words are said or expressed) lacks empirical data to be supported and nor does the Polygraph.

Ironically, the American Polygraph Association, Government and Private Agents do practice Statement Analysis, reading non-verbal communication, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and believe the Polygraph is 97% accurate provided the examiner knows what one is doing.

“People want to tell you what they’ve done. They want to confess to you. We just have to listen.” -Todd Brown, Detective


 The Truth Will Set You Free but first it will piss you off.

The best ways to know if somebody is lying: Ask the individual to state the events of what happened in chronological order. If he or she did without any trouble, one is being deceptive. Memory doesn’t work in order.

Blinking a lot is another good indicator. Lastly, forming a baseline by asking them questions that they know are true and unrelated to the context or you already know the answer to. For example, what’s your name? Their answer is true. Observe the verbal and non-verbal cues when they tell the truth to determine their behaviour when it’s out of the ordinary.

In addition, if there’s inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal, rely on the non-verbal [macro and micro, false, masked expressions, tonality alterations, and abnormal body language (Kinesics, Haptics, and Proxemics)] to determine the truth. Most importantly, have authenticated evidence to conclusively prove the presence of deception.

“Deafness has left me acutely aware of both the duplicity that language is capable of and the many expressions the body cannot hide.” -Terry Galloway (Poet/Actress)



Studied Basic Human Emotions, Universal Expressions, Deception Hot Spots, The Polygraph, Behavioural Interviews, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) prior to university and happened to study these topics and among others in one of my fourth year undergraduate courses.

Check out: Allan and Barbara Pease: Communication Skills

Dr. Paul Ekman (Resources)

Dr. Paul Ekman, Articles, Training, Resources, etc. (Project Wizard)

Other Studies and Books that cover these inter-disciplinary fields on the subject of deception, emotions, and human behaviour.

“The mouth may lie, alright, but the face it makes nonetheless tells the truth.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

The Friend Zone: Type I and Type II

Verbal vs. Non-verbal Communication

What the two different types of friend zones mean and the recommendations to improve upon such an issue.


        Type I: “He or She’s out of my league!”


What we do to ourselves when we see or know somebody we are attracted to, desire, and want in a partner and lover. We come up with excuses on why we can’t attract, build rapport, and seduce them. We metaphorically shoot ourselves in the foot. In other words, we come up with mental scenarios on why we can’t accomplish our goals or make a plan a reality. This is known as limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit. And in doing so we impoverish our lives. We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. They’re the opposite of affirmations (positive self-talk).

limiting beliefs

Recommendations: Be Positive, Find Value in Every Situation, Be in the Moment, Be Present, Use your sense of humour to bring a genuine smile and laughter for yourself and others around you, Stand Out from the crowd (Look Up: Peacock Seduction Theory)- accessorizing, Put Yourself Out There (Communicate your feelings with words, facial expressions and body language positioning, Go through Exposure Therapy, Freud’s Talking Cure, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) if that’s an option for you which may be recommended by your health specialist, Seek help from an ethical and moral dating, relationship, life coach.

          Type II: “I have to go to the washroom.” , “I’m not interested.”, or “Let’s just be friends.”rejection-main

When your potential suitor (the one you want as a partner/lover/interest) is the one to really reject you by either verbally telling you she or he isn’t interested in that way directly or indirectly. Also, the person you’re interested in can communicate that they’re not interested non-verbally. Remember, communication consists of three elements: 55% is body language, 38% is voice tonality, and 7% are the words coming out of one’s mouth, alone.


Signals and recommendations: If their entire body from head to toes isn’t facing you, chances are he or she just isn’t interest nor attracted to you. In addition, you can look into their eyes (signs of arousal) as they’re the window to one’s soul and pay attention to one’s micro expressions to see if their smile when they’re around you is sincere. Genuine Smile indicators to look for include: wrinkles in lower eye-lid, nasio-labio fold, crows feet wrinkles, raised cheeks, and upturned mouth (Dr Paul Ekman). Also, learn about proxemics (study of body positioning) and kinesics (study of physical gestures). Space boundaries consists of: Public Space (3.6 to 7.6 m), Social Space (1.2 to 3.6 m), Personal Space (.45 to 1.2 m), and Intimate Space (0 to .45 m). A person may be attracted or interested in you when he or she breaks your personal or intimate space. Do NOT look for all these signs and assume somebody is giving you indicators of interest (IoIs).

To properly read each sign and people in what they’re sub-communicating, follow the 3 Cs Guideline: 1. Context- what one non-verbal cue means in one scenario may be different in another. For example, if one is inside and they’re crossing their arms, it could mean they’re cold. If they’re outside and the weather is sunny and hot and you the full context of what’s going on, then they could be insecure or hiding something (uncomfortable)., 2. Congruency- make sure one’s verbal and non-verbal communication are consist/linear. For example, if one says their confident verbally and their body language says their shrugged, then their non-verbal language is really saying they’re not confident. It’s like integers (a positive and negative together is an equivalent of a negative; +/- = -)., and 3. Clusters: Observe and evaluate things based on parts rather than the entire picture. For example, you observe and evaluate a part of the essay (sentences/paragraphs) rather than the entire essay (The Definitive Book of Body Language).

Here are some signs to look for whether one is interested or attracted to another:

Eyes display arousal, their pulses are rising (also a sign of anxiety), they have a genuine smile, they’re mirroring your non-verbal language (body positioning), their feet (direction of the subconscious mind) are facing towards you, they’re displaying open body positioning (for example, their palms and hands are facing towards you) rather than being defensive. Mirroring Behaviour or Postural Mirroring is intended to create complementary transactions at the physical level. Individuals will arrange their bodies so as to mimic the person they are interacting with. Grooming Behaviour is intended to promote the attractiveness of the person doing the grooming. Individuals will re-arrange various objects such as body parts, clothing, etc. to present the best possible image, particularly when meeting someone who is a potential sexual partner. Examples include: Hair Wiping and Clothing Manipulation (adjusting clothes- i.e. collar).

In conclusion,

Practice and Practice and Practice your communication, social, people, presentation, marketing, influencing/persuasion skills in all parts of your life by learning to be more emotionally expressive mature person and be visually presentable. The three components to influence and persuasion are having to appeal and influence 3 parts of our brain: 1. The logical brain (Neo-cortex), 2. The Primal Brain (R-Complex), and 3. The Emotional Brain (The Limbic System).

Book recommendations and other resources on influence, persuasion, communication, social, people, presentation, relationship skills:

Webs of Influence- The Psychology of Online Persuasion

Author: Nathalie Nahai, The Web Psychologist

The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease

The Rules of The Game by Neil Strauss (Author of The Game: Penetrating the secret society of Pick Up Artists)

Emotions Revealed by Dr. Paul Ekman (Lie to Me)

Law of Attraction by Michael J. Losier

Split Second Persuasion by Kevin Dutton

The Art of Seduction, and Mastery (two books) by Robert Greene

Companies/Consulting Businesses: Love Systems, Venusian Arts, Ars Amorata (The Art of Love), Jordan Gray Consulting, The Wing Method, Ethical Pick Up, Authentic Man Project, The Social Man Project, The Moral Compass of Attraction, Social Adaptation, ABCs of Attraction, Style Life Academy, Charismatic Arts,, and

My First Interview about The Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation

The First Interview about The Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation!! 🙂

2013-05-28 13.43.00

The Nice Guy/Girl Dilemma and The Alternative (Guidelines)

In the World of Dating, Courtship, Attraction, Seduction, Love, and Relationships, a common phrase exists: “Nice Guys/Girls Finish Last.” This mentality is also known as the Nice Guy/Girl Syndrome.

Search Nice Guy Syndrome on Urban Dictionary

So, let’s tackle the dilemma of “Nice People” to arrive at the conclusion of whether it’s true or false. What does that “Nice” mean? Firstly, nice, alone can be vague without adjectives and details to describe what is nice.

Check out Nice Guys Finish Last Music Video:

For the sake of this discussion and article in defining the concept of Niceness, Nice is divided into two terms. Nice may mean different things to oneself and others.

Kezia Noble’s Video On Nice Guys, Good Guys, and Bad Guys. Be THE GOOD GUY! 😉

Check NO! The first type of “Nice” is a euphemism for neediness, overly insecure, weak, having ulterior motives/agendas, being passive or passive-aggressive, or overly aggressive, entitlement mentality which aren’t desirable traits for being dating, courting, relationship material. Thus, “Nice” is NOT really Nice when used to describe what one really means. Example of “Nice”: Attempt to buy another’s affection through gifts, presents, superficial materials, etc.

Picture: Google Image Search- Nice Guy Syndrome: See Picture that says: How to Spot a Nice Guy

“Being your true authentic self is your most attractive self. Us being us is our real attractive self. In fact, us being real, us being authentic is the only truly seductive thing there is. Honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.” -Zan Perrion

Check Yes! The second type of Nice (aka. The Good) means being Nice without any ulterior motives/agendas. In other words, being nice without expecting anything else in return (also known as. Old school Chivalry) is what being Nice truly is. Example of The Genuine Nice: Gets to know a potential suitor (person one is interested in, attracted to, respects and values).

Watch Jenna Marble’s Nice Guys Do NOT Finish Last Video:

“Nice” do finish last while The Nice can finish first!

In order to be in a successful loving and mature relationship with others, one must love themselves entirely including their imperfections. Embrace Yourself through Complete Honesty, Sincerity, and Authenticity!

Self-Love, Self-Respect, Knowing and Applying one’s Self-Worth through Beliefs, Values, and Actions are very important in being a Man or Woman, Leader, and most importantly, a human being that can be an optimistic role model.

The Nice can date, court, attract, and seduce the one he or she is interested in, attracted to, values, and respects. However, being genuinely nice is NOT enough. People, Men or Women of all Sexual Orientations and other backgrounds, want their partner, lover, significant other, close friend to be a supporter and nurturer in the relationships they have with each other. Desirable traits in friendships, romantic relationships and of other types includes: Confidence, Assertiveness, Gentleness, Sensitivity, Charisma, Clean Humour, Maturity, Morals, Ethics, Passion, Determination, Personal/Social Competence, Strength, Courage, Ambition, Experience, Wisdom, Intelligence, Altruism, and so forth.

To become really successful in life in all aspects, communication, social, leadership and motivational skills while living a valuable principled life is a must. So, To Be Interesting, Be Interested!

“Be a man of value rather than a man of success.” –Albert Einstein

Life is too short as the saying goes. Also, there’s no right time. Make time and live life to the fullest in the moment as if there’s no tomorrow. Carpe Diem and Create The Opportunities through Holistic and Interdisciplinary Approaches of Altruism! Say what you really feel and do what you truly feel! Say more than just Hello to the Person you not only are attracted to, interested in or desire, however, more importantly to the one that you value, respect, and love passionately by not only words since actions demonstrate purpose and meaning. Be Your Best Self!

Lessons to Achieve and Learn

Learn Emotional Awareness (Facial Expressions; Micro, Macro, False, Masked), Social Skills through Influence, Persuasion, Personality, Character, Charisma, The Arts and Sciences of Attraction, Social Dynamics, Seduction, Social Structures: Proxemics (Space and Body Positioning), Haptics (Touch), Kinesics (Physical Gestures and Body Movement), Vocalics ((Paralanguage), Chronemics (Structure and Use of Time in Nonverbal Communication) and so forth. In addition: Read, Learn, Practice, Evolve Intelligently with Effectiveness and Quality.


“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Revolutionizing Manhood: Societal Conditioning, Empowerment, Changing F/M Roles, Principles in Communication and Relationships

Too often in society and mainstream media, we hear phrases such as: Boys will be Boys, Boys and Men do NOT cry, Males don’t express themselves, Expressive Men are cowards and not masculine, Men are supposed to be aggressive, muscular, athletic and so forth. You get the point. Stereotypes and Generalizations are clearly prevalent here under lack of critical thinking and not realizing or acknowledging that people of the same background can be different.

To respond and to know that those absurd words involves ridiculous thinking and full of ignorance and sometimes arrogance, forget the lies.

Just like many things and other beings, Men come in all sizes, shapes, forms, and from all diverse backgrounds. Expressive Men have feminine traits while being masculine just as those with other sexual orientations besides being heterosexual are men and masculine too. Non-muscular, athletic, sad, crying men are masculine men.

Yoda from Star Wars once said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.”


External Factors: Society and Media continue to brainwash us with misconceptions, stereotypes, generalizations, and deception that people are to labeled as objects and seen as if they are all the same apples. In reality, some are apples while others can be sweet apples, juicy oranges, tropical mango, shining bananas, etc. Painting everybody as the same picture is intellectually, ethically, and morally unsound. Every Single Individual is UNIQUE in their own way both naturally and through the journey of nurture, personal/social/professional growth! 🙂 Believe It, Practice It, and Own It! Empower and Transform Yourself Into Your Best Self for the right reasons!

To Empower Yourself and Others is to be AUTHENTIC by accepting your true emotions whether you may be sad, angry, happy, perplexed, flabbergasted, or disgusted. In other words, when one feels sad, be sad. When one feels angry, be angry. When one feels happy, be happy. So be Genuine, Sincere, and Authentic when expressing oneself alone or when one is with others.

To be feeling down, is more than okay to be sad, angry, and in tears, and vulnerable. Heck, as boys and men, after all, ARE HUMAN as well. We are HUMAN.

To suffer, to be vulnerable, to be impotent, is to be human who becomes a leader with the abilities to be courageous, have strength, and living a principled, ethical, moral, and fulfilling life.


As for Men and Women of all beings, each and every one of us, holds feminine and masculine personality traits which is taught in Family Studies 101. Also, we intuitively know that in our minds.

Question and Challenge some Assumptions in Social Norms, Taboos, Stereotypical Gender Roles

If a man is more feminine both in personality or looks, that doesn’t make him any less masculine. Heck, to be more feminine, in itself, takes Courage and Strength. Also, men that belong to other sexual orientation besides heterosexuality too, are masculine and men of Courage and Strength. Men who don’t fit the conventional profile of being masculine, are still men, masculine, and most importantly: Human Beings.

Through Value, Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, Respect, and Integrity in Verbal and Nonverbal Communication we can practice and embody a life with Principles, Ethics, Morals, Empowerment and Authentic Transformation as Honest, Sincere, Trustworthy, Genuine Leaders.

List for Suggestions towards Empowerment and Transformation:

Self-Awareness, Affirmations (Positive Self Talk), Discipline, Mindfulness, Spiritual Journey, Meditation, Being Engaged in your Communities, Social Capital: Bonding (Similarities) and Bridging (Differences) with self and others, Tapping- Emotional Freedom Techniques, Talking Cure- venting/ranting with or to those that care about you and those whom you care about, Therapeutic Exercises/Counseling, Healthy Living: Health and Wellness- Mental Health, Nutrition and Exercise, Love, Complete Acceptance while simultaneously evolving oneself and helping others do the same. **Everybody has their own way of empowering and transforming themselves and others.** To find what works, go through series of trials and errors. One can mix these recommendations by using multiple of these techniques for relieving stress to empower and transform self and others. Exercising holistic and interdisciplinary approaches to relieve stress while going through the journey of transformation is beautiful.

Self-Awareness: Consciousness of Self (Aware of One’s Strengths, Weaknesses- one’s entire being/sense of self) > Self-Conscious (Focusing on Insecurities)

Tapping Emotional Freedom Technique


In personality psychology, locus of control refers to the extent to which individuals believe they can control events affecting them. Understanding of the concept was developed by Julian B. Rotter in 1954, and has since become an aspect of personality studies. Essentially, the Locus of Control is about things one can control and others that are out of one’s control.

Check this article out on Locus of Control.

Please contact the Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation for further resources on therapeutic approaches to relieving stresses all the while being one’s best self! Email: or contact us through the FB Page.

Prejudice and Biases: The Difficult Life of Being Asian in The Western Universe

Firstly, this is NOT a story about feeling miserable about being Asian while going through life with stereotypes, racism, and having the victim mentality (NOT a real victim). This is far from feeling sorry for oneself or other fellow Asians. It’s a message about conflict, change, growth, and empowerment. So, let’s get started.

Asian-Poker-Face- Unmasking The Emotions
Throughout history and contemporary times, Asians have become the highest rate in America to be more likely than any other racial/cultural groups to be victims and survivors of abuse and bullying perpetuated from their peers. In my own experiences and of many others, we have noticed that internalized and externalized prejudice about Asians has been prevalent in both the U.S.A. and Canada. Even positive stereotypes and generalizations can be malicious due to lack of understanding, personalizing, and humanizing people on an independent case by case basis.

That has to all change for the better through holistic approaches to achieve progress while going through a selective and diverse journey to succeed and lead towards empowering not only ourselves that go through discrimination but every single one of us since we’re ALL HUMAN. Discussions and Actions for Growth must be congruent and established through our consciousness of self or also known as: The Discipline of Self-Awareness!

Fellow Asians! Take Charge and Be in Control of Your Own Lives rather than complying with society and media to allow them to dehumanize and degrade us. Fight The Good Fight! The Bad, The Ugly, and The Evil may win the battle, however,

We win the war against evil by decisions we make for ourselves whether our empowering actions are unconsciously or consciously committed.

Us, Asians, aren’t exactly positively both historically and contemporarily represented well in the mainstream media of the Western world, especially in the department for being a prospect of dating or relationship material. The latest Oscars have shown that there’s clear lack of diversity within the media/entertainment industry and in rewards ceremonies.

Pop Culture
As Asians from all diverse backgrounds, we go through may perpetuated and stigmatized biases, prejudices, stereotypes, and discrimination from our childhood, adolescence, to adulthood.

Stereotypes and Generalizations
These are many of the following [whether good or bad] ridiculous comments we hear again and again and continuously throughout our lives from the general public:
Asians are physically small [this racial slur is worse for fellow, Asian Men] which sub communicates the label of being weak and submissive and sexually incompetent and incompatible.
Asians eat dogs [Misinformed Assumptions that everybody does the same thing, lack of cultural education due to ignorance and sometimes, arrogance]
Asian Women are Submissive [Media portrays them as dehumanized beings- i.e. sex objects]
Asian Men have small penises [implies that AM are sexually weak and unconfident based on generalizations and presumptions]
Asians are good at math, are computer geeks, nerds, good at video games, knows martial arts and self-defense, are well educated, socially awkward, rich, don’t like nor date non-Asian people.
Asians are always indifferent also known as poker faced (non-expressive).
Asians always look furious.

stereotypes -none

Logical Reasoning: Flawed vs. Factual
It’s understandable that assumptions are innately within us to a certain degree. However, there are two types of assumptions: 1. Misinformed Assumptions [without any existing legitimate and supporting evidence] which results with conjecture and 2. Educated Guesses or Informative Assumptions [With prior insightful knowledge to support a premise and a conclusion] thus resulting in a factual premise and sometimes conclusive outcome. In order for deductive [general to specific premises/conclusions] reasoning to work effectively, there must be complete solid evidence to support a premise and conclusion. Same applies to inductive [specific to general] reasoning to a certain degree.

Example of Deductive Reasoning:
A is B
B is C
Therefore, A is C.
Human Nature’s Irrationality and Need to be Ignorant
Generalizations form because as human beings we like to know things even when we don’t and they may be heavily flawed due to our Ego and having the explanations comforts us rather than suffering from the fear of the unknown even if we’re wrong and arrogant. No wonder the saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” exists. With that being said, I respectfully disagree with the argument that unconventional yet effective wisdom is Bliss.

Higher Purpose, Meaning, Education, Altruism and Free of Judgment
In a well developed world and if one’s provided with the resources for education and learning, there’s no excuse to be ignorant, generalizing, and stereotyping people with labels and misleading information despite irrationality to be part of human nature. Through nurture, high value and intelligent individuals put themselves on a higher purpose and makes themselves accountable for their actions while helping others evolve too.
As an Asian and more importantly as a human being, all those comments are intellectually absurd. NOT everybody is the same. In the world, everybody and anybody in any world and everywhere, there are apples, oranges, mangos, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, and watermelons.

Born to Stand Out
The IMPORTANT Lesson here is to continuously practice the Principles of Altruism, Respect, Equality, Self-Love, Self-Awareness, and Togetherness! ❤ Diversity for ALL is the ULTIMATE Journey! 🙂

altruism is the new sexy

Here’s two books on the Myth of The Model Minority: Asian Americans Facing Racism (First and Second Editions) and Asian American Sexual Politics: The Construction of Race, Gender, and Sexuality.

The Truth: The Interview with Lady Electric about The Underground and Prevalent Pick Up Artist, Personal Growth, Dating and Relationship Coaching Industry- You Decide!

The Good, Bad, Nice Guys:

<—(Ignore the title of the video: Kezia Noble: Official videos and articles) FYI: Did NOT interview Kezia.

The following Individual that I’ve interviewed hasn’t been publicized and wanted to be privatized and for the purpose of the interview, I’ve used her Nickname [or Stage Name].

The Purpose of The Interview: To reveal the actions and the truth about the Bad, the Ugly, and The Good in This World where Majority of The Bad Apples show up in Mainstream Media


The Interview goes as follows:

Hi Lady Electric,

Saw your comments on a Global News article in regards to PUA and how not all are bad as society and media portrays the industry, professionals, affiliations to be merely bad apples. When in reality, there are good people involved for the right reasons.

In your posted comments, you had mentioned how you’re directly involved with the communities and how everybody can benefit from learning and experiencing the tools. I have a website, blog, and social media pages on attraction, social confidence, emotional awareness, and social intelligence from moral and ethical perspectives and practices.

Looking for diverse experiences from many people that came across PUA directly or indirectly to post on my blog, social media pages, and website with their full permission. Would you like to write me a testimonial of your experiences you may have had whether they were good, bad, or ugly? Please leave out names for privacy sake. I’ll use alternative names (made up) when posting such testimonials. Also, can I use your comment on Global News Article about how the term of pick up is ambiguous, we use it everyday, it’s used in sales, and so forth?

Great to see that there are those who are more than intelligent to see that not everybody is to be brushed in the same way as the rest.



Hi Luke,

What’s a PUA? Just kidding. Thanks for writing. Could you send me a link to your website/blog please? I’ve recently retired from “the game” as I’ve just finish a 7 year contract with “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” Father I call Josh Reffries haha. Actually it’s incredibly likely I have the *best story in the entire community but I would never write about it on my own. Too ugly, gruesome, hideous. Perhaps after the old dragon dies or if I had a hypnotist army (I actually do, seriously!). And yet I’ve been involved since 2007, I’m a freaking saint in comparison, which is partly why I felt inclined to comment on the News article. I can write a lot about seduction, not about my personal experiences but about the techniques, learning process, community, etc. I hate to break it to the world but the community is full of sociopath/psychopaths with the intent to take advantage of others, either for money or sex. These techniques are extremely powerful and effective, so all the more reason for every kind-hearted person to learn, wouldn’t you agree? That being said you are right, not everyone is an sick, manipulative, selfish-centered meanie. There are a lot of really nice students and few good coaches like myself but the community needs to come together and decide what we will stand for in regards to moral and ethical treatment and what is flat out unacceptable. Until better organization happens everyone gets lumped in a ball, which keeps the bad guys in business and the good guys at a disadvantage. Are we superheros or super-villains? That is the question! lol

Warm Regards,

Lady Electric

Hi Lady Electric,

Just saw only, ‘What’s a PUA?’ for a second and you almost got me, ahaha. Thanks for getting back to me. Here’s my:
Also, have Google Plus Account and Page under The Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation Title and email is Hope you enjoy it! Accepting feedback.
Wow, Ross Jeffries of Speed Seduction and The God Father. That’s amazing! [Attempting Optimism] I’m sure you have amazing stories. I hear JB in RSD is a really a good guy according to some people’s experiences with him while learning about Growth, Dating and Relationships [not condoning any of his actions in any size, shape, or form over his disrespectful posts on twitter]…just that his marketing strategy was obviously very immoral, unethical, irrational and socially taboo. Can’t confirm it though and definitely don’t endorse his media posts regarding to you know what. Yes, personal experiences don’t have to be included. I respect that. From professional, learning, systematic and experiencing curves are what I’m looking for at all angles (not tunnel vision- out of context or one sided isn’t my style since full disclosure and openness on the good and the bad [open book] is necessary- complete honesty and authenticity.
So, it seems my suspicious observations and instinct for the industry are true based on your words that there are many, whom are sociopaths and/or psychopaths with the intent to be manipulative. It’s ironic how you mention taking advantage for money or sex as I mention that in my WordPress Blog under Ethics and Morals: The Players in Personal Growth or Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence- The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Yes, I do, believe they’re very influential whether it’s for good or bad purposes regardless of who exercises these skills. Based on my experiences though, many of the people that I have came across in the industry whom themselves are curious, clients/students, or instructors are very good professionally and personally speaking. They had and have good intentions and it shows through their words and actions. Many of the males and females that I’ve seen interested in receiving assistance are the following types with utmost respect of course (no labeling intended): from the shy individuals, to the introverted, to the good people that are looking for more than just a good time by establishing and maintaining fulfilling relationships whether that be sexual, platonic, family-oriented, personal and/or professional incentives or contexts. I’ve read some statistics that suggest 70-90% were looking towards gaining social skills to getting a lover/partner to a wife to other meaningful relationships while the 20-40% were into it for superficial and manipulative gains.
Absolutely agree with your last five premises about the good and the bad and the outcome.

Appreciate your insight,

With utmost sincerity,

Luke, thanks for the speedy reply. You are too nice. Honestly. JB or Josh Reffries might be wonderful people and nice to their friends and families but the point is reputation is everything in this community and the community needs a better reputation. Marketing or real immoral techniques, abusing anyone are just wrong and it’s giving the good guys a bad name so we need to draw the line clearly if we don’t want to be labeled sociopaths ourselves. I assure you there are more good people in the world then bad but the bad people hold the majority of control/power and unfortunately this subject draws out every sociopath on the internet. I think your Ethics and Morals Blog is brilliant for that reason, we need more people writing about the importance of good vs bad in the community. You have my permission to post anything I’ve written or write to you on there using the name Lady Electric.
There’s a lot of material on seduction. It’s over complicating a simple subject in my opinion. Everything in life takes practice to get good at it. It will benefit people more to get really good at a few things, rather then try to learn everything. I suggest to people they learn 3 simple things when starting off. Practice until it’s totally natural, unconscious, so they don’t even have to think. Then go learn more if they want.
1. Peacock (stand out from the crowd).
2. Value Build (talk about friends and family and hobbies rather than cars and money).
3. Qualify (Be the one asking most of the questions, like a police officer).
That’s it. Simple PUA 101. All anyone really needs to know to get intensely good at the subject. The key is practice.
Other than that I recommend Instant Rapport by Michel Brooks and My Voice Will Go With You by Sidney Rosen as books that are actually NLP and hypnosis books but will take people a lot further with seduction.
Vin Dicarlo’s Pandoras Box System is fun.
Love Johnny Soporno’s Intro to Seductive Reasoning.
For advanced students learn semantics and pragmatics – linguistic kung fu =}
Forget October Man and go for February Man! lol

Best Regards,

Lady Electric

Hey Lady Electric,

Didn’t think I was being too nice. Just don’t want to make a false allegation without legitimate and full honesty of real evidence. The media and society does have a reputation for taking things out of context, exaggerating, and basically blowing things out of proportion. Now, I’m not defending or supporting evil-doers in any size, shape, or form. Quite the contrary, would like to have the full pictures before coming to a reasonable and ethical conclusion. In the cases, the truly guilty are found and discovered or not, justice has to be served. Can’t have wrongfully accused cases occurring because that can ruin an individual’s or groups organizations’ name that would have otherwise been leading towards success and making the difference.
Fortunately, you’re right! There are more good in the world than the bad or the ugly. On the other hand, just like you mentioned there are the abusers that hold more influence into what we believe, think, see, and listen to. On the up said, the good rather than doing nothing, they (not saying we to not brag) do something about it and keep doing what they were doing by motivating and inspiring others through morals and ethics. If one stands for nothing, that individual will fall for anything or anybody.
Thank you, much appreciate it. Through my research and examinations, as I posted in the blog (recommendations), have come across great companies and individuals that truly do make a good impact into dating, relationships and other involved human connections.
Thanks for the 3 suggestions for beginners.

In terms of peacock theory to successfully be implemented and practiced, noticed that it works when non-verbal, verbal and fashion or style are congruently united. One can’t work effectively without the others.

As for value and rapport building, the concentration definitely is on personality, energy, character, experiences, perspectives, values/beliefs and so forth. Internal demonstration rather than external performance. Qualification is excellence when it has flow, smooth, and sincere motivations and execution in the process.
Practice does make improvement, especially when done right and intelligently. However, mistakes have value too in that they give experience, knowledge, and insightful wisdom.
Ah, haven’t heard of Michel Brooks and Sidney Rosen. Thanks for the information. Soporno’s materials are amazing!


Lady Electric: Awesome, ya Soporno is a hero. I don’t like to say bad things about people so I’m not going to name names on the many well known coaches I’ve worked with over the years in LA, Vegas, Vancouver, Halifax, Mexico, England who are completely unethical and downright abusive so you’ll have to trust me there are tons out there. The books are a both a pretty easy and entertaining read. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of the forbidden October Man sequence but it was stolen from February Man, pretty much all NLP and seduction come from hypnosis techniques by Milton H. Erickson. Erickson had a female client who had been abused. He did hypnotic therapy with her every February for years just to let her unconscious know after the winter comes spring. October Man is just the opposite – taking control of a female, from fall to winter. There are many evil techniques in seduction, many sections promoting female sex slavery, brainwashing, psychical, sexual and emotional abuse. I’ve seen first hand and personally been involved with this community for many years and I have zero tolerance for disrespect towards others, specially females. Objectifying is bad enough, anyone who’s using abuse techniques to promote their work deserves to be outcast from the community or even the country – flat out. We don’t tolerate racism, we shouldn’t tolerate misogyny, All people should be treated with respect. It’s that easy.

You also can’t control the entire world and there will always be bad guys so it’s best to educate everyone for self betterment, enhancing relationships and also protection.

Luke: He is! Yeah, I know what you mean and agree. Where there’s light, there’s darkness. Unfortunately, one can’t exist without the other. Remember both techniques being mentioned in The Game, N. Strauss’s book. Familiar with NLP and Hypnosis as they were both taught in lectures throughout a course I took on campus. The ethical dilemmas and authenticity issues are prevalently in existence. To name some- hypnosis can implement memories in that otherwise naturally somebody wouldn’t have or on the upside (including NLP) can have wondrous therapeutic success especially when stresses and habits are involved. In NLP, don’t find the eye gazing tells in relation to deception red flags being effective. Rather observe and deduce facial expressions, body language, and verbal communication once seeing things in clusters and establishing congruence or picking up on inconsistencies (verbal and nonverbal) and checking out the context in the way communication is being displayed. Anyways, great to know and see like-minded and moral beings that don’t tolerate abuse in any size, shape, or form are around to speak up and take action, especially in a world where things appear to be mostly surrounded by manipulative practitioners. Intolerating bad, ugly, evil (however one describes such) brings out the social justice activists in our humanity! Absolutely, respect and integrity. We’re all human beings wanting and needing to connect on such deeper levels that we must remember the golden rule (rule of thumb) which is Respectfulness.

Lady Electric: It’s a pleasure, Luke. Hope someday we cross paths, would be nice to meet you in person. You have a fantastic smile by the way!

Luke: It’s an honour to have spoken about this with you from all sides of the spectrum in terms of the dark and good sides (pros and cons). What if the industry, and its services were strictly and professionally regulated by investigators and other moral/ethical officials to the highest degree? Also, what advice do you have for those that know of this social universe and are reluctant to seek the services and goods provided by the professionals they approach? The hesitant decision may be due to what he or she heard in terms of the ethical dilemmas. Otherwise, they would have quickly sought out help to improve and evolve themselves, their lifestyles and relationships. He or she as the customer being the shy, awkward, introverted, or oblivious and good person type or those looking to gain social and communications to more fulfilling relationships whether that be romantic to deeply loving kinds at any stage. Including those that want to be the best version of themselves and are struggling on how to go about accomplishing and maintaining their authenticity because they’re stuck in the deadly comfort zone or they don’t seem to be moving forward in any way. By the way, thanks for the compliment.

Lady Electric: I know it is already somewhat regulated and should be even more so, but as far as moral to the highest degree this becomes a bit tricky or complicated. It’s all about intent. It might be okay to perhaps be somewhat unethical in certain circumstances if it’s for the greater good. For example, if one wants to quit smoking, causing them to feel sick when they inhale cigarette smoke might be considered unethical but it could be an effective measure if they have tried every other method and failed. I don’t think you can generalize and say “as long as you leave the person better off than when you found them”. I think it greatly depends on the situation and the people involved.
As for advice on people reluctant to learn (like my mother haha), I say perhaps it’s not for everyone but understanding is protection. Since it can and is often used as psychological weaponry, used by the media, sales, lawyers, politicians, military etc., becoming more and more common these days, learning is our only defense.
Also enhancing communication skills are only going to better ones life in all areas. It should be taught in high-school, as a life skills-communications course. Useful skills students can apply to everyday life no matter what direction they decide to go in afterwards.
As far as ethical dilemmas, I really like this question. It’s important because I think almost everyone starting out has to cross this barrier because most of us have been taught since we were children that manipulation is wrong/bad. However, if you are gifting people positive suggestions or causing them to enhance their lives you are doing them a great benefit. It’s all about *intent. You decide how you will use it, which is essential to understand because I want my students to feel good about what they are doing. Feeling good will give them extra motivation to learn, practice and get out there, putting their skills in motion in real life circumstances.
For shy, introverted people or for people with social anxiety, there are many ways to overcome this and be more opened/outgoing but by far the best way is simply putting yourself out there. Talking to a few new people everyday, even if it’s just hi with a smile or small chat about the weather, and realizing it’s just a numbers game because no matter how wonderful someone is they will not get along with everyone. The more one does this though, the easier it gets. Usually everyone feels a bit awkward at first but it doesn’t take long for people to become confident talking to strangers or even publicly and it’s a skill worthwhile developing because humans are naturally social creatures – the more interpersonal relationships we have the more enhanced our lives tend to be, so this type of social confidence can really change ones life.
As for people wanting to be their best versions of themselves start of by defining or creating a map of exactly where you are at and where you want to be. Don’t worry about how you will get there at first, just focus on where you want to go. That’s the biggest step. Often that’s enough because our subconscious will figure out the route for us on it’s own if it knows the target. However you can further this by setting small achievable goals that will get you there. I’m also a big fan of “fake it till you make it” attitude. Just pretend or take a ten minutes daily visualizing how you want things to be for yourself. You’ll be amazed how well this works, how little effort it takes and how fun it is too! =}

Luke: Wow, multiple sound advice right there! Absolutely agree that it’s all about intent and of one’s state of mind and actions for prosperity. Some those that become committed and passionate practitioners do become very confident and competent in their life. I believe it transcends beyond pick up, attraction, seduction, social interactions and certain principles can be applied throughout any interactions that involves human beings connecting and communicating with each other. The learned and developed communication skills can definitely be applied appropriately and universally in any context.
You said early that you worked directly with the community, some of the professionals (instructors) and in numerous of countries. What were your positions? If you call yourself a PUA, is that what your position was? Or, do you refer to some other terminology? I.e. Dating/Relationship/Life Coach, Body Language/Communications Expert, or other.

Lady Electric: 7 year contract with old Josh Reffries, plus been training since age 12. I can’t really talk about our contract yet but I had the position of female superhero or secret agent spy, doing vigilante work. Not all glitz and glamour though, taking down dangerous criminals the police wouldn’t be able to catch. Vince Kelvin, Bad Boy, Nathan Shapiro, Jersey Boy PUA, Anthony Jacquin, Vince Lynch and Headhacking, Harry Nichols, Justin Tranz, Anthony Cools, Marc Savard, Jake Shannon, Bob The Hypno Hammer, Richard Anthony, Igor A. Ledochowski, hundreds of others, too many to list, Like Helen of Troy, 1000’s ships at my command. Haha, like my own hypno army! It’s not my intent to come off as bragging but it’s true. I have yet to meet anyone with a life more exciting than mine. Not an easy job though, I’m happy to retire. You can see why I feel so strongly about morals when it comes to persuasion.

I usually don’t tell people I’m a super hero. I go by dating coach, teach communications, sales. I downplay as much as possible cause it tends to make people uncomfortable until I start getting into the techniques, then they are usually hooked, but there are some who just don’t want anything to do with it and will resist as much as possible. I’m usually impressed with people resist me, makes me smile.

Just want to be clear Reffries isn’t a good guy, he had me tortured for years “getting the bad guys”, luckily hypnotist community are on my side, not all PUAs are evil as hell but in my experience most are. Kezia Noble and most respectable coaches like Johnny Soporno distance themselves from PUA’s.

Luke: That’s a lot of people. Yes, I noticed a lot of people are either very interested or very resistant of learning about it prior to the techniques or when they are discussed. Kezia Noble does seem to be legitimate and she sees herself as a coach not a PUA. Interesting interview with Johnny.

Thank You for the Interview, Lady Electric!

Here’s Lady Electric’s Comments on an article posted on a news website regarding The Ethical dilemma’s of Pick Up Artistry

1. As a female who’s been directly involved in the Pick Up Artist community for many years and has also experienced this type of abuse first hand from some members, I don’t want to see Canadians support Violence Against Women, domestic abuse or any other type hate groups. Unfortunately this type of thing is all too common in the PUA community, which is now very large, yes it’s a global mini-subculture of people using advanced psychology techniques. The PUA community doesn’t have to be a mean, degrading, hate filled group. I would like to see both men and women benefit from learning how to communicate effectively, exploring the psychology of sexual views in society, how we get along, etc. The misogynists/abusers are giving the community a bad name and it should fight to protect its reputation, appealing to the public to attract new members so everyone has the benefit of learning how to better themselves and relationships with one another in a healthy, positive way. It’s important Canadians show zero tolerance for violence towards any person. We are a safe country, proud to put humanity first, that’s one of the many traits that makes Canada so wonderful.

2. The term “pick up” is ambiguous and really what does the name have to do with the price of tea in china? Pick Up is simply a technology that can be used for either good or bad depending on ones intent. As for manipulating people (or ourselves to get a response) we do it all the time, consciously or unconsciously. But I bet if anyone had to speak publicly they would do what they could knowingly to make sure the speech went well. Eye contact with the audience, a warm smile, good posture, maybe a joke here or there. We dress up nice to go to work, learn manners so people think of us as polite. What’s the difference? This subject teaches people (often ones who genuinely struggle) a more effective way to interact or communicate. Personally I think everyone should learn the skills, for protection (yes these techniques are used in sales and marketing all the time – *buy now you should be getting my point haha), with all the swindling and seducing learning for protection seems intelligent but more importantly we can all better ourselves by learning how to communicate more effectively. Believe it or not, being a good listener, paying close attention on how to read people, not just communicating what you want to get across but understanding how it’s being interpreted, are all skills most people just don’t naturally possess, we need to learn them. We can’t just throw out the baby with the bath water, there’s insightful information in the Pick Up community that helps a lot of people for the better, stronger communications skills can lead to more fulfilling relationships. That’s why it’s such a shame abusers are ruining it for the public.

My Published Articles on The Good Men Project, Online Magazine

GMPMy Biography and Published Works!

Be sure to check out and share my first published article called The Journey of My Cultural Identity with The Good Men Project!

Here’s my second article about the personal growth, relationships, and life coaching universe regarding those involved; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly! Learn, Develop, and Strengthen Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence as a skill to enhance one’s leadership abilities throughout diverse parts of his or her’s life wherever people are involved. Utilize your best self and have fulfilling relationships with your families, relatives, friends, colleagues, associates, co-workers, loved ones and others.

Malicious intent and bullying turned Luke Park into a champion of social justice and relationship coaching.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” –Ernest Hemingway

Stay tuned for future published articles on The Good Men Project and here on my Word Press! 🙂

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…We must do that which we think we cannot.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

Recommended Sources to Read and Observe for Personal Growth, Emotional Awareness and Social Intelligence

good guys

The following lists are sources I’ve read or observed and are in standard high value to improve one’s Skills, Perspectives, and Long-term Experiences in Personal Growth, Emotional Awareness (Facial Expressions- Micro, Macro, Mask, False), Social and Communication Skills, and have a continuously evolved understanding of what makes us, humans, us, why and how so. More importantly, to lead and succeed in diverse areas of life and relationships, one must have a confident, firm, authentic belief system and apply the knowledge and wisdom that’s provided by professionals through their services.

The List of Recommended Sources:

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t by Michael J. Losier (Author of Law of Connection)

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell (his other books such as The Tipping Point and Blink are great reads well)

The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease

The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion (Ars Amorata- The Art of Love)

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists by Neil Strauss which is a memoir (Check out Rules of The Game as it’s a practical exercise manual too)

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Leadership: Theory, Application, & Skill Development by Robert N. Lussier and Christopher F. Achua

Persuasion: Social Influence and Compliance Gaining by Robert H. Gass and John S. Seiter

Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman

Models: Attract Women through Honesty- Mark Manson

All of Dr. Paul Ekman’s Books and Recommendations He’s the leading and most creditable psychologist on deception, emotions, nonverbal communication and more.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Liespotting by Pamela Meyer

The Compass of Zen by Zen Master, Seung Sahn and Foreword by Stephen Mitchell

Split-Second Persuasion by Keven Dutton

Webs of Influence: The Psychology of Online Persuasion by Nathalie Nahai, The Web Psychologist

Hot Sex Tips, Tricks, and Licks by Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Speaker, Author, TV Personality and Sexologist

First Date Formula by Ben J and JT Tran, I Did It My Way by Jt Tran, Online Dating for Asian Men by JT Tran and Alice Zindagi http://www, and (Applicable to all races and cultures)

50 Powerful Date Ideas by Jordan Gray (Author of 7 Relationship Mistakes)

Social Man Project by Myke Macapinlac

Online Magazine of Good Men Project by Every Day People and Professionals, Writers and Editors

Men’s Health Magazine

Ask Men

Style Life by Neil Strauss (Style)

Venusian Arts by Erik James Horvat-Markovic (Erik von Markovic or Mystery) Watch his show, VH1 The Pick Up Artist Season 1 and 2. Get Hola Unblocker App. (internet use outside country of origin) if required.

Ethical Pickup by Crew Spence

Doctor Nerd Love

Attraction Explained by Adam Lyons

Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

Anthony Robbins

Art of Manliness

The Art of Charm by Jordan Harbinger and AJ Harbinger

Social Engineering by Chris Hadnagy and Check out books: Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking and Unmasking the Social Engineer: The Human Element of Security

Seduction Sirens by Arden Leigh

Dating Advice (Seek Advice, Not an online dating service)

Dating Skills Review: Men’s Source for Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice

Science of Relationships

Kissing Outside The Lines by Diane Farr

Female Dating Expert for Men, Kezia Noble

Wing Girl Method by Marni Kinrys

Ted Talks

Authentic Man Program

Charismatic Arts

Comments of Neil Strauss Interview

Interview with Neil Strauss, Journalist and PUA

Pickup Advice for Shy Guys

Ethical Pickup

Swoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them by Betsy Prioleau [or Elizabeth Stevens Prioleau]

Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It by Marty Klein

Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover The Power of Intimacy by Ken Page

If you have any other suggestions to add, leave a message underneath this post in the comments below and I’ll check them out.

Society focuses too much on the differences of men and women aka the battle between the sexes. As an individual whose done more than a fair amount of research into attraction, seduction, relationships, dating, courtship, pick up, emotional awareness, social engineering, psychology, social dynamics, social justice and social intelligence, I can tell you with absolute assurance that men and women are more alike even when we don’t realize it. Yes, sure, genders are different physically and the way they perceive things and so forth. However, what we fundamentally need and desire are the same underneath all the surfaces and verbal communication. Universally, people of high value and quality, desire deeper connections, personality, energy, character, similarities, differences, cultural diversity, acceptance, love, passion, morals/ethics, principles, determination, experiences, challenges, leading lifestyles, mental/emotional/sexual/spiritual/religious/social compatibilities. Not all of them may apply. Case by case may be different although all those are the foundations to human connections and intimacy.

Treat Others the way you treat yourself, families, relatives, friends, co-workers, colleagues, associates, and so forth. We’re all human that want to connect deeply.