Since the main premise of my WordPress, Website and Social Media Page (FB) are about the personal growth and self help movement and internal empowerment as one of the objectives to evolve, this post will talk about its problems (dark side) and alternative measures (change).
To discuss the Personal Growth or Dating/Relationship/Social Confidence [whatever one calls it] Coach Department (the good, the bad, and the ugly from different approaches of the systematic approach) due its recent epidemic of moral dilemmas over the almost last decade after the book was published, revealing this universe from underground to mainstream media and the world.
So, what, how, and why this part of Life Coaching became to be was initially to help others who lack emotional awareness, social intelligence (education), fulfillment in dating and relationships (romantic, sexual, platonic, professional, and other types) or already have those yet want more than that by providing them with evolved social skills, progressive principles/philosophies, fresh perspectives (motivation/inspiration) in diverse contexts with different people. Depending on who and what organization provides the services and goods through their modus operandi (method of operation) and their motives (reasoning), the genuine teachings still live on. Otherwise, there’s those that changed somewhere throughout the journey for the worse, not better or had ulterior motives (agenda[s]) to begin with through manipulation and superficiality for merely promiscuity, sex, misguided fetishes, greed, and money. Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.
Nature vs. Nurture in the regard that one improves internally, changes positively or let’s external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.
Some selectively choose their advice whether the instructor is ultimately, the good, the bad, or the ugly as one can learn from everybody.
For Better or For Worse- Mentalities, Character, Beliefs
The Bad and The Ugly
Let’s begin with the bad and the ugly (dark side) in correlation with the types of mentalities that exist in those that initially had genuine reasons or began with those and continued towards that dark path. There’s those that believe to their very core that they have a sense of entitlement to fulfill their needs, desires, agenda despite the frame causing and affecting more harm than good. The Entitled believe a potential mate or people they interact with that one is attracted to is a consolation prize which then treats others on a pedestal and as an object through their verbal and nonverbal communication signals. Then there’s The Socially Deviant who take high risk, low reward by having the entitlement mentality through attempting creepy, deviant, and/or sometimes, potentially criminal behaviour. On the other hand, there’s those whom merely sit around a screen and have all the theories, tactics, strategies yet they don’t apply themselves and troll online/offline. Another example are those that have read or obtained knowledge on the science of attraction, such as: evolutionary biology, sexuality, social sciences, humanities, health sciences, etc. mix those fields with unsound/unproved theories and applications to the students that take their seminars. Ultimately, they mix in the lie with the truth or the truth with the misleading guidelines. What’s common too, is those that desire money and rather than teaching, they commit fraud and other deceptive behaviours behind the scenes.
Lesson: Don’t treat yourself and others as a Prize to Win. Embrace and Love Everybody including oneself.
The Golden Rule (Rule of Thumb): Treat Others with Respect, Honesty, Integrity, and Share High Social Value with Authenticity.
We’re all human beings that have the desire to connect with ourselves and others deeply whether that be physically (i.e. supporting health/wellness), emotionally (ex: sharing personal stories), mentally (connecting intellectually), and spiritually (empowering journey).
The Systematic Approaches and Good Individuals: Mindset, Character, Beliefs
As for the good, the systems and the communities can be good, bad, ugly or neutral unless they are in itself created and used for evil. Systems, Approaches, People in of itself and themselves that have created programs through ethics and morals do exist and prosper. Examples: Those that are Shy Boys/Girls, Good Guys/Girls, or Intellectuals/Educated Professionals that want and need to learn Social Confidence and Skills in Human Interactions. Also, includes those that have Social Anxiety and desire to try personal growth programs.
Results may vary.
Ultimately, The Good Guys and Girls Finish First! 😉
“As to the methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Check out the study conducted on this industry and its ethics by the University of Oxford, Department of Experimental Psychology. The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP10899909.pdf
“[Pick-up] is not inherently good or bad. It’s like a hammer. A hammer can be used to drive a nail into a piece of wood and build a beautiful house one day or it can be used to bust someone’s kneecap. It’s all about the ethics of how you use it.” -Arden Leigh
Using Deductive Reasoning for Concrete Knowledge and Sound Wisdom
In conclusion, the guidelines provided by such professionals to another can be used for good or bad depending on one’s incentives and actions. Thus, not everybody is the same. The actions of some ‘bad apples’ don’t reflect those that are really trying to make a difference in their own lives and others. To judge the good based on the events of the bad and ugly is intellectually and morally unsound.
Mind over Matter: What one perceives, one can achieve passionately!
With Great Influence comes Great Responsibility. 😉
Lessons to Achieve and Learn
Learn Emotional Awareness (Facial Expressions; Micro, Macro, False, Masked), Social Skills through Influence, Persuasion, Personality, Character, Charisma, The Arts and Sciences of Attraction, Social Dynamics, Seduction, Social Structures: Proxemics (Space and Body Positioning), Haptics (Touch), Kinesics (Physical Gestures and Body Movement), Vocalics ((Paralanguage), Chronemics (Structure and Use of Time in Nonverbal Communication) and so forth. In addition: Read, Learn, Practice, Evolve Intelligently with Effectiveness and Quality.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)